A couple of days ago, Facebook sent a memory reminder of a post I wrote a year ago. Just two days before my 35th birthday, I posted about my postpartum depression. I had NO IDEA what kind of responses I would get, but honestly, I didn’t write it for anyone but me. It’s now a year later. Am I still depressed? Most days, no, I don’t think so. Do I still get overwhelmed with balancing motherhood, wife life, myself, and my business? Absolutely. What I have realized in this year is that I won’t let any of that define me. I won’t box myself into a category. Am I wear I want to be? No, but there is growth. You grow wiser (hopefully), and things DO get easier (inserts lots of prayer), but of course, it never feels that way when you’re going through it.
I currently have drafts of unfinished blog posts, but this one, I had to finish in one sitting. Receiving blessings, means giving blessings, and testimonies can be just that. You never know what someone is going through, and how your words could help them. There is always this hush hush, oooh, or potentially awkward silence when it comes to postpartum depression, or even just depression in general, when there shouldn’t be. I think every woman (at least every woman I know), has had that self hating moment of am I good enough; pretty enough; can I handle this, etc, but the more we TALK about it, the more acceptable it becomes. Instead of my husband tiptoeing around me because he’s afraid of what “may set me off”, talking about it takes that stigma away. It’s reminds me of how people are like, is it that time of the month again?! Never has that question gone well for ANY woman, but that’s the same mentality around postpartum depression. Not asking, what can I do to help you, but instead–let me stay away from you, smh.
Either way, in the words of Ice Cube, “today was a good day“, so I was in the
mood to speak my truth. I am in a great place–not where I want to be (does this ever happen?!), but living in the moment with a wonderful support tribe, and always working on a better me. I plan to get better with my postings so say a prayer for me on that lol! Thanks to my friend Jaime, for telling me to write it down–all. the. time, lmao! But I appreciate her for it, so I write–they just go unfinished (working progress). Patting myself on the back today, for ACTUALLY completing this thought ;).
Here was the original post (because even the one I posted on social media, had to be cut down), and someone else might need this today: